Thursday, May 20, 2010

From the Desk of Mr. Chan: TEE BALL

Hallo shao-peng-you (little friends),

You know, I living in small town for a while now. And as small business owner, most important thing I learn is to give back to community...

So for people who don't know, Miss Fortune Chinese Fast Food has been sponsor for promising young Tee Ball team: THE MISS FORTUNETTES!

And BIG NEWS FLASH: Lady Luck on our side! We play in Championship Game!

Some other team get lice at school.

So today I take long lunch, put on team jersey and stop by game.

And you know wha?

WE LOSING. 4 to 0.

And I tell you the truth...I don't think my team know what's going on, mang.

So one of my kids go up. Lower half of face still caked with Sloppy Joe sauce from lunch.

He swinging and missing at ball for what feel like an hour.

Then he finally hit one but forget to run. Everyone screaming at him, RUN RUN! But the little turnip head just stand there like his mind have probo.

I losing face.

Okay then he start to run...the WRONG way!

YOU GODDA BE KIDDING ME. Now my face is completely missing from embarrassment.

Finally someone point him in right direction but forget to drop the bat! He taking out the shins of first base coach!


And it not just Sloppy Joe, everybody on Team Chan have same probo!

Oh I had enough.

I go down and talk to Coach: What going on? They not practice enough? They don't remember what to do? I know they 1st grade but this is simple like ABC 123's!

I think I really get under Sister Mary's skin, "Pipe down, Ichiro!"

So then I get very angry.

HEY MANG! I invest in championship team! I pay a lot of money! My reputation is on the line and you got them PLAYING LIKE A BUNCH OF STOOBIES!

I cannot take it anymore.

I quickly drive to Woolworth's and pick up some Ginkgo Biloba.

It help with memory. I take one every morning and I tell you the truth, it seem to work. I almost never forget where I park at airport.

So I thinking it should help with Tee Ball, right?


With combination of Ginkgo Biloba washed down with RC Cola (the official drink of Little League Baseball), kids remember everything they supposed to do!

We lead big comeback!

Crowd cheering! Everybody excited! They sound viking horn!

WE WIN! 5 to 4!

Oh mang I'm so proud, I take team to Shakey's!

We eat potato mojos and play Pole Position for hours! It like one of happiest days of my life!

During big celebration I get call from losing Coach...

He say you cheaters. Say something like athletic commission gonna investigate illegal substance use.


But really...who eating SHAKEY'S and who crying like LITTLE BEBE?


Love indubitably,

Mr. Chan
Owner/Proprietor, Miss Fortune Chinese Fast Food

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